You know when a fast angry song comes on that you know every word to and you’re in just the right mood that your eyes light up with the fire and angst of a thousand punk rockers and you just feel so alive
puT ON YOUR WAR PAINT
you know those friends who try to one-up you on everything you say… chill…. all i said was it’s my dad’s birthday…. no need to tell me about that time your dad took you to the bahamas to swim with dolphins while you jet-skied into the sunset
imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.
Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.
Almost all the time this is 100% accurate
Are you sure you’re not just buying hoodies in the wrong size?
yes, becuase even when i buy them so that the arms are too long, i’ve had the hood be too small and the bottom barely meet my pants, and it’s still too tight and it does manke your boobs look weird, we know what we’re talking about,
at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i signed it as donald duck i always sign as donald duck im sorry”
Yooooo let’s do this shit for funsies!
cat people: dogs are cool too
dog people: cats don’t feel love did you know a cat once MURDERED my MOTHER